If you've been reading along all these years, you've figured out that I'm on the precipice of my half-century mark. For the non math majors out there, that also means that my parents are approaching that age where they may need a bit of help from time to time. Whether it's to open that persnickety jar of pickles or simply being "there" when one of them recovers from surgery or an illness, pitching in as they enter their twilight is simply part of the deal. I'm often reminded (by my older brother, no less) that they DID house, feed, clothe and care for us for the better part of 18 years. The least we can do is offer our support for a few years now.

Today I'd like to take a peek at some considerations of the in-law apartment. I know there are typically dozens of factors that go into the decision about housing for mom and dad. First and foremost being the level of care they need on a daily basis. But beyond that are many other factors that are both universal and personal. We're fortunate to have parents that we genuinely enjoy spending time with. That's not always the case and that works in both directions (maybe YOU are the annoying one!). Let's dig in and see if we can ensure this will be as pleasant of an experience as possible.

I love my parents, but don't necessarily need to be aware of their comings and goings. If your dad is like mine, he's in and out of the house more often than most cats. Be it golfing, puttering around the garage, trying to fix something, trying to find something, working on the landscaping or simply wandering around outside, he's always in and out. Providing them their own entrance to the apartment is going to be pretty important. It will give them a greater sense of autonomy and privacy. It also provides the added benefit, in case dad leaves the door open by mistake, for you to yell "Are we heating the outdoors?" when you go visit!

Ensuring the apartment is wheelchair accessible is going to be pretty standard these days. This likely goes for the rest of the unit regarding accessibility. Make sure (if you're building it) the hallways and kitchen walkways are the right width, there are no "curbs" in the shower, and there are no steps (without ramps) both inside and out. This will be very helpful while your parents are there and also ensures you won't need to do any "updates" when you're ready to sell. Accessibility, considering the general age of our nation's population, is going to be a valued feature of any home.

"Unless you're working with an unlimited budget, consider the amount of natural light you can work into the design," notes Badger Peabody & Smith Realty (formerly Badger Realty) agent, Ralph Cronin. "Chances are good the space is going to be limited and a higher number of windows will give lots of light and provide the feel of having more space," he continued. Both my parents love the outdoors and instilled that love in my brother and I. I know giving them lots of places to enjoy the outdoors (from indoors) will be much appreciated. This also has the added benefit of giving you the opportunity to yell "Do we own stock in the power company?" if you go visit and all the lights are on during the day!

The goal of having the 'rents close-by is to provide needed support and care. Outside of that, we want to provide them with as much independence as possible. Both my sister-in-law and I work from home, so having the parents around all day is distracting at best. I recommend providing an apartment-sized washer and dryer for the unit to add to this autonomy. My mom is famous for doing a "load" of laundry that includes a pair of socks and a t-shirt, nothing more. Giving them their own laundry affords them the opportunity to do as many tiny loads as they want and keeps them out of your laundry room while you're trying to work.

Lastly, and in my opinion most importantly, is the HVAC. I'm writing this from Florida today as mom and dad needed a little helping hand. If you've seen the Seinfeld episode where Jerry and Elaine visit Jerry's parents, you recall Elaine begging and pleading with Jerry's mom to turn on the air conditioning. It's not THAT bad here, but the unit IS set to 75 degrees. (I should note that at home, our A/C is set to 71!).

Giving mom and dad their own heating and cooling is going to be critically important. Heck, I think it would be important for most marriages, but that's likely unreasonable. Most of us won't get beyond those beds that provide different firmness levels and maybe a blanket with varying insulation thickness. As it is now, my honey and I watch TV with me in shorts and a t-shirt and her cozied up under a blanket. At least it works!

Bringing your parents into your home is a huge step. Providing enough separation and autonomy for both of you is going to be critical to the success of this venture. When considering the budget for each of the parts and pieces of this project, focus more funding on the separation (heating, cooling, sound, laundry, etc.). Great fences make great neighbors and a clear separation between you and the in-laws will likely help keep the peace.